Where Have You Gone?

             You PROMISED me you wouldn't leave! Then where are you? Why am I all alone in this world? You can't break a promise. Why did you go with the reaper? Did he have something better to offer? I'll double his offer! I'll... I'll give you a better deal.

NO! NO NO NO!!! You can't just leave me!! Not like this... Why does everything leave me? What did I do to deserve this? I know you were in pain, but now that you're gone my hearts on the floor bleeding out and I'm in the corner drowning in my own tears.

             You made a promise... You broke it, but I can't get mad at you. I know why you left. I know that you wanted to leave. I saw you in the prison you called a body, but couldn't you have taken me to the one place where we could be ourselves just one last time before you left? 

             You didn't even give me the chance to at least say goodbye. Could you have at least given me that? That's all I ask now. I don't care that you broke the promise anymore. I just want to be able to say goodbye, but you didn't even give me that. So I guess I'll say it to myself. goodbye...

Something Different

The truth of being different.

Innocence

I remember a time when life was simple. A time when I didn't fear or have a care in the world. When crayons showed how I felt, with my vibrant blues and stunning reds. A time when if I felt alone I could turn to an empty sheet of paper and color until I was happy, but that time has passed and now I'm left with nothing but my old broken crayons. With no creativity left. Only the the voices telling me to conform with everyone else. To be boring and to be normal. Is that possible though for someone like me? I doubt it but we'll see. 

Lonely Road

As I walk this lonely road,

I walk with my head held high,

and my back unbroke. 

I walk knowing that I will not return. 

I walk alone. 

I walk through the valley of death meeting my reaper, with a steady gaze and no regrets. 

I walk alone. 

I walk towards a future with hopes and dreams that I know, shall not be. 

I walk alone. 

I walk and fall with no one to catch me. Yet I get back up and trod the path so few have taken. 

I walk alone. 

I walk with a heavy heart and a heavy burden. A burden which I hope none shall have to carry. 

I walk alone. 

I walk and walk till the end of days. They say I'm blessed, but I am cursed. I feel something claw at me. Saying, "please oh please let me free." This... Thing... Is cruel and should not be. 

I walk alone. 

I walk with fear that this will be the end of me. That this beast inside will be released and that people will see not a human, but a beast, that is of, destructive nature. 

I walk alone. 

I walk in solitude for fear of hurting, for fear of killing any hopes and dreams others may have. 

So I walk this lonely road. 

Things To Do

1. Wake up
2. Get rid of the foul odor one creates while sleeping (need to look into that)
3. Go to school
4. Almost say hi to that one person I like (think her name is Sarah, or maybe Jessica?)
5. Go home (eat some snacks)
6. Go to work (wish I was somewhere else)
7. Finally have dinner
8. Do homework (not sure what I'm doing)
9. Rage quit doing homework (Think teachers are screwing with me)
10. Listen to music (need to find better music)
11.Sleep
12. Repeat

Define Human

         As I walk down the beach with the warm sand pressed against the bottom of my feet, and the gentle breeze bringing a new freshness to this whole scene I tell myself, "This is living." The whole idea of living is to enjoy the world. To experience new things in this world, but then I wake up from my dream...
         I am forced into a world where pain seems to be my only comfort and solitude my only friend. This is the place I live and I must deal with it, and by some idea of man I should be thankful for it. Because I am human and thus should be happy and proud. And if I am not as they say I should be then I am taking it for granted...
         I must continually say I am human. I am human. I... am... human... Am I human? something I once thought was such a simple question now haunts me. People say I am, but I do not feel like I belong. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just crazy? Should I get help? Perhaps...
         But I am sane enough to say that monsters can be human and that is what scares me the most. I fear that I may be a monster myself. The thoughts and ideas that have come from my head are often ridiculous, outlandish, and horrifying. Yet I cannot deny that they are apart of me.So I must continue to say I am Human. I am Human. I. Am. Human.